Stay with me

You know when you get a sign from the universe that tells you to pay attention?

Recently mine was stubbing my toe so hard I broke it. This is after I thought I had cancer, burned myself, was getting over an infection and had a cough.

I think my body’s trying to tell me something.

With one affliction after the other, a pattern of mine I have dealt with my whole life, why am I really hurting myself? Why am I putting myself through so much?

Well, shocking as it is to learn here, sitting with myself and just breathing offered me an answer: I’m beating up my body in order to stay within it. I’m reminding myself that my body exists.

I can be too focused on the future which is unfortunate this day because the present is very much all we have. A mind in the clouds can be useful. Sometimes. Other times you want to be paying attention to where the bed post is.

So I am beginning again.

Just like how in meditation when your mind wanders off and a non-judgmental nudge back to breathing is all that’s needed, that’s all I need now. A non-judgmental refocusing.

I hope I stay with me from now on.